Let me explain... No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Now that the casting call has gone out, we potentially have a number of new folks reading our blog who are curious about what this here project is all about. I thought I would go back through the archives a bit and pull out some posts that might help give you a better picture.

(By the way, we still have a handful of roles available - some small, some less small. If you're interested, please read the casting call and drop us a line. We begin recording in just under two months.)

What's this show about again?
The best place to start would be what we're calling the "dustjacket summary" of the show - that will likely find its way into one of the trailers, or at least the iTunes description. Or you can read one of Jason's early descriptions wherein he can't decide if it is a road story, buddy movie, urban fantasy, coming-of-age story, or something else entirely. We have been somewhat inspired by Slavic mythology (and when I say "inspired" I mean "loosely inspired"). You can learn a bit about the deities we are inviting into our little universe, as well as some fun tidbits about Slavic sympathetic magic.

You two appear to be quite witty and charming. Does your show reflect that aspect of your respective personalities?
I'm glad you asked. Jason is not the only indecisive one on the writing team. For several months I struggled with the emotional tone of our scripts. At first, I thought it was going to be a fairly serious show. But as we're nearing the end of the writing process, I have finally seen the light, and fully acknowledge that yes, I have a "campy" gene -- and I am not the least bit ashamed of it.

Okay, so it's funny. What are the characters like?
Somewhere down the line, we realized that we had created 30 unique characters for this show. Granted, many of them have creative names like "Guard #2" - but since our main character is traveling throughout the entire show - he meets a lot of different folks. Unwieldy, perhaps. But the beautiful part is that we get to involve as many people as possible in the process - which couldn't make me happier. (Did I mention the casting call?)

Our lead characters are already cast - since most of them were written with specific folks in mind. Several of them (but not all) are featured in the blog. And while some aspects of the characters have changed since we wrote the profiles, the essence of who they are seem to be pretty intact. You can read about Alex, our main character, his Great Aunt Olga, his best friend Viper, and Klaus, an old family rival. You can also get to know Mags, Alex's haunted GPS - who often leads him to diners, where he meets various waitresses.

What made you decide to do this?
I think Jason describes our motivation very well in his opening post.

And are you finished yet?
We are very, very close. The finish line for script-writing is within reach - and we have set dates for recording. Music is being composed, sound effects are being located, space for a make-shift recording studio is being rented, actors are showing up. This thing is actually going to happen, and happen soon. I can't guarantee a release date yet, because we're not sure how long post-production is going to take - but I would imagine that by the end of the year, we're going to have ourselves a podcast. And then I'm going to have a Reuben sandwich to celebrate.

In which there is a casting call

You oughta be in podcasts

You’re wonderful to hear

You oughta be in podcasts

You’re music to our ears!

Your voice would thrill a nation

Whether you are short or tall

You’d make a great sensation

You won’t be paid at all

(with grave apologies to Heyman and Seusse)

Good afternoon, gentle readers. I suspect you’re wondering why we’ve called you together today. We are here to discuss an important matter.

You may recall that River and Jason, back in bygone days known as “2008” began a writing project known at the time as “Hey, we should totally write a podcast.” Since that time, the project has gone through several phases, including “What the hell were we thinking?” “This is really harder than I thought it would be,” and, “I can’t even think about this thing right now, oh god, why won’t these characters leave me alone?” Throughout each of these iterations, we’re pleased to note, we have generally enjoyed the process quite a bit.

Recently, the project has entered a whole new phase. Now, we’re calling it “You know, we’re actually pretty close to done with this thing. Guess we should start recording it eventually, eh?”

And that, we hope, is where several of you come in. At last count, we discovered that we have written a story with more than thirty characters (though many of them don’t need a unique voice: Thug #2, for instance, probably doesn’t need to be that distinct from Man With Gun three episodes earlier.)

Most of the large roles were written with specific people in mind, so our leads are covered (for better or worse). What we need, at the moment, are some friends who are willing to help us with those roles that actually make the story move forward in some key elements…and, yes, also some fun bit parts such as the aforementioned Thug #2.

So, consider this our official casting call for the podcast. If you’re interested in learning more, read on. If not…um, don’t. We’ll cover the highlights Q&A style.


Question: When are you recording?

Answer: Our initial recording sessions will take place in Chicago over the weekend of June 11th-13th. The plan at the moment is to get together for some read-throughs on Friday evening, spend all day Saturday recording (obviously we don’t need everyone there all day), then again on Sunday. There will likely be a cast get-together on Saturday night.


Question: What if I don’t live in Chicago?

Answer: We’d love to import voice talent. One of our leads will be flying in from Missouri, and another contributor currently lives in England. We can probably find a place for you to crash if you can get yourself here.


Question: What sorts of roles are open?

Answer: The partial list includes our lead character’s ex-girlfriend, two carnies, one long-lost distant cousin, a priest, various members of a biker gang, and approximately eight coffee shop waitresses. Some are funny characters, others are deadly serious.


Question: I am not a professional actor. Is that a problem?

Answer: Um. No, that is not a problem.


Question: What about money? I am a madly talented voice actor.

Answer: We won’t charge you a dime!(**)


Question: I am not available during your recording window. Am I out of luck?

Answer: Not necessarily. We’re certainly not going to get this whole thing done in a weekend, so we’ll be doing some smaller recording sessions after this one is complete.


Question: Do you take bribes? I really have my heart set on that "Man with Gun" role.

Answer: I am shocked – SHOCKED- that you would even need to ask this question. If you know us at all, you know that, yes, of course we accept bribes.


Question: I’m so in! What should I do now?

Answer: The best way to contact us is by email at river.roberts at gmail dot com and hess42 at gmail dot com. Or if you have one of our numbers, just call. Or comment here, if you prefer.


So, friends and soon-to-be podcast voice talent: any other questions coming up for you? Post ‘em here in the comments and we’ll do our best to answer.

(**Actually, this is a lie. We will probably pass around a hat for donations to cover the rental of our recording space.)

Тёмная ночь

My dear friend Jennifer has graciously agreed to be a part of this little enterprise by lending her voice and substantial acting talent to the show. If we ever manage to record this sucker (and we will), then Jen will likely be our only professional actor. She classes up the place quite a bit - and lordy, do we ever need it.

For Halloween last year, Jen made a mix tape of songs that kind of go with the whole autumn-All Hallow's Eve-Day of the Dead kind of theme. (Okay, there were no actual cassettes involved, but I like the idea of a "mix tape" and I don't want the term to ever go out of style. Most of my childhood took place in the 80s, after all.) One of the songs she put on there was a lovely World War II-era number called Тёмная ночь (pronounced "tyom-na-ya noch" - long 'o' as in 'boat') which means "Dark Night."

I instantly fell in love with it as soon as I heard it. Give it a listen. This is from a movie called "Dva Boytsa" (Two Soldiers).



I'm even more excited that we've found a place to use it in the show. I can't give you too many details because the episode is kind of special and I don't want to give any spoilers - but suffice it to say, this song is perfect. Okay. One spoiler... there's at least one person of Russian descent featured in the episode.

If you're interested, you can find a translation of the lyrics here. They're hilarious, by the way. My personal favorite: "I believe in you, my dear she-friend."

Meanwhile, we're puttering along with the scripts. Our excitement level is still high, though -- and I am totally jazzed about the episodes that we're currently working on. Meanwhile, I'm going to beg Jen to teach me how to act. Or failing that, pray that you're so wowed by the story, sound effects, and music that you forgive my terrible acting. That being my most likely master plan - think I'd better go hunt down some more music and practice pretending to be a foley artist.

Side note - Jen is currently playing the lead in a production of Bertholt Brecht's "The Wedding" - with the TUTA theater company here in Chicago. She's spectacular in it. (And I'm not saying that because I'm biased. She's really quite talented - and the rest of the cast is fabulous too. There's one more weekend in the run -- so if you're in the Chicago area, go see it.) More information here.

The Future Is Now

Happy New Year, everyone! I'm excited to be writing our first blog post of 2010... for it is now The Future. And here in The Future, we humans may not have mastered the technology required for me to have that candy apple red hovercraft I've been wanting since age 8 -- but we have created a condenser microphone that looks a lot like a spaceship.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the best present I got for Christmas this year:


Is it not the most adorable thing you've ever seen? But since this is 2010, and therefore, The Future, I keep waiting for it to suddenly turn on and say something like: "ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE."

Y'know... because if you flip it sideways, it kind of looks like this:


Which for you non-geeks out there who have no idea what I'm talking about, click here and put it on your Netflix queue. Or better yet, go to the library and get the book.

Anyhow, my good friend Eric knew that I wanted this microphone for the podcast, and he was sweet enough to get it for me. (Well, actually he got it for himself and is loaning it to me indefinitely. But that doesn't make it any less cool of a gift.) So thanks, Eric!

Jason and I got together for our first writing meeting of the new year last Sunday - and we christened the new microphone by recording a snippet of Episode 1 so I could start playing with adding sound effects and music. The result?

It wasn't as awful as it could have been.

I know, ringing endorsement, right? We're proving to be much better writers than actors... by a long shot. But we're definitely improving. And as I listen to other audio drama podcasts to hear what other folks in the podiosphere are doing, I have discovered that I am consistently willing to forgive a whole lot of bad acting if the story and production quality is really good. I hope our listeners are as generous. I've got a steep learning curve when it comes to putting the audio effects together - but I have access to some great resources and a whole lot of creative minds I can tap for help. What more could a girl ask for?

Maybe a recording studio in the basement? But barring that, I'm more than content with my adorable microphone that looks like a spaceship. All is right in my world.

Our first listener!

Against his will, Bob*, an unsuspecting patron at a Chicagoland Panera was subjected to the rough readthrough of Episode 2 last night. I watched Bob out of the corner of my eye as he craned his neck to see what crazy hijinks were happening two tables down. Bob tried a couple of times to put on his headphones, but decided against it and kept trying to hear what was going on. We weren't that loud. I wonder if his iPod had stopped working or something. Poor guy.

Three things are notable about Bob:
1. He seemed genuinely interested. Whether that interest was getting to hear the episode or trying to figure out a way to get us to shut up, I don't know.

2. Whatever his reasons, he did not run screaming from the restaurant. I'll consider that positive feedback.

3. He also didn't laugh at some seriously funny lines. I'm not sure what's wrong with Bob's sense of humor. Then again, he was a couple tables away. Maybe he really couldn't hear us. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

What Bob might have heard, had he been really listening, was the readthrough we often do with a completed episode to check for timing. Episode 2 is a bit longer than some of the others, since we have to do quite a bit of setup in a short amount of time. (Jason has a little song that he sings when we write episodes like these... "Exposiiiiiiition!" That's really the only lyric, but he does jazz hands and everything. It's like he's looking for three other guys to join his barbershop quartet. It's cute in a sad sort of way.)

Bob would also have heard Jason reading Alex's lines, and me reading everyone else's... which in Episode 2 includes Viper, Olga, Klaus, Mags, and a brand-new character I just made up called Mr. Ranalli (who is named for my favorite pizza place.) Mr. Ranalli helps provide a little backstory and character development for Alex. "Exposiiiiition!" So Bob would have heard me having long conversations with myself, sometimes with a fake Russian accent and sometimes using the word "Dude!" excessively - and Jason interjecting a comment here and there.

I love it when we do readthroughs - particularly when I can get over my initial embarrassment about doing a silly Russian-ish accent in a public place. And you know? I think we're getting better not only at the writing, but the acting as well. Jason is going to rock at being Alex, and I'm not just saying that because I want him to finish up Epsiode 6. (Which I do, but that's beside the point.) It's really fun to listen to him "get" the character. We've known Alex for a while now. It stands to reason that his voice would become more and more familiar as we go.

Have I mentioned how much fun I'm having with this project? I totally am.

So thanks to Bob for being our first listener. Thanks to all seven of you readers for your patience as we work to complete this little hobby-project. And thanks to Panera for not kicking us out.


*Not his real name. Or maybe it is. I have no idea. I just think he looked like a guy who could easily have a name like Bob. His name could be Xerxes, for all I know.

Turkey, Rewrites, and a Donkey

What better way to climb out of a post-Thanksgiving turkey-coma than write a blog post? I hope all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving had a lovely one. I spent mine with about 40 of my closest relatives in Omaha. There were no Reubens present, but the food was still pretty fantastic, and I had a great time with the family. It's been a nice visit home.

In between waiting for pies to finish baking and turkeys to roast, I spent some time script-writing. Actually, if you want to get all technical about it, I was rewriting. And hoo boy... I guess one of the good things about taking so frickin' long to write the scripts for this show is that we were bound to improve as we went along. This is a good thing for the last half of the season, but it's almost embarrassing to read parts of the first couple of episodes. Part of it is that the story has shifted dramatically since we first started writing - in a good way, I think. But part of it was the fact that we didn't quite have the knack of this all-dialogue-all-the-time style yet.

I think we've managed to get the knack. Or at least borrow the knack from someone else who has it. Or maybe... never mind. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Suffice it to say that we get what we're doing now, and we're trying to get the first couple of scripts to reflect our new-found knowledge and experience.

Meanwhile, the search for recording equipment and sound effects continues. I think I have discovered the microphone brand I want to use, and I've been playing with sound editing a bit. Also, my nephew (who is four years old) told me today that he is excellent with sound effects. He demonstrated everything from a propeller plane to a donkey. The kid ain't bad. Makes me want to figure out how to include a donkey in Episode 6 just to be able to use him.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend everyone!

Wherein River admits she was wrong

Okay. I was wrong. I'll admit it. The podcast is funny.

Now that we're several scripts in and have a good chunk of the finale written, I have to admit - it's not nearly as serious as I thought it might be when I wrote this post. That's not to say that there aren't some poignant moments. We just wrote one this afternoon. But by-and-large, we're not taking ourselves all that seriously, and it's turning out to be... not a comedy, per se... but fun. Lots of fun.

At least for us. The jury is still out on the rest of you folks.

I'm also excited to report that we're nearing the home stretch with script-writing. We opted to jump ahead and write the finale, which is one of the best decisions I think we've made as a writing team. Having a stronger sense of how the story ends helps us make the rest of it better and more relevant. I'm finding myself much more motivated to finish editing Episode 2 now that I know where these original conversations and confrontations will ultimately lead.

We're also at a place where we can start weaving in other resources to help us make the show even better. I happen to live with an amateur-but-should-be-professional-because-he's-that-good composer, and he's agreed to start writing a soundtrack. (Yes!) Another good friend of mine is a former DJ and used to do a great radio sketch-comedy show a few years back. He's helping us with recording advice and equipment. It's good to have a well-rounded group of friends that we can exploit ... er... help them to express their creative gifts in new and interesting ways. That's it.

I have to admit, the last couple of writing sessions have really rekindled my excitement for this little project - and now that we're able to visualize the finish line, I'm totally psyched. More soon!


(Also, thank you for not mentioning the fact that our last blog post was in September. October was a rather busy month.)